Hangin' on the telephone
Published
More than half (55 per cent) of parents say that social media has negatively impacted their child’s social relationships with peers, and 66 per cent have noticed changes in their child’s mood, self-esteem and/or behaviour, according to new research.
The study by the charity Parenting Mental Health polled more than 600 parents on issues such as mobile phone usage and social media. It found that, despite most parents worrying about the impact devices have on their children, almost two-thirds of parents do not monitor or control their child’s phone. Parents who have had conversations with their children about safe and responsible social media use said that their child had been receptive about the discussions, with three-quarters saying their child was ‘very’ or ‘somewhat’ receptive.
Parenting Mental Health has compiled the following top tips for parents who are looking to encourage children to limit mobile phone usage:
Spotting the signs
Knowing whether your child has a genuine addiction is the first step to helping them. Are they choosing to be on it instead of eating and sleeping? Are they staying up late and waking up early to use their phone before school?
Other signs of imbalanced phone usage include:
● Irritability and mood swings.
● Lying about phone usage.
● Low self-esteem and confidence.
● Spending a lot of time obsessing about their phone.
● Feeling a loss of control around phone use.
● Social isolation.
Understanding why
There are many reasons why excessive phone use could occur, including fear of missing out. Not being invited to something that has been organised online can leave kids feeling left out and isolated. Mobile phones can also provide a distraction, particularly for children who are struggling with their mental health and looking for ways to escape difficult emotions or troubling thoughts.
Finding a balance
If you are concerned that your child is addicted to their mobile phone, make time to talk to them about how they are using it and show a genuine interest about what they are doing and when they are using it. Look at patterns in what time they use their phone the most and how they seem to behave afterwards: for example, whether they seem more anxious as a result.
Once you have an idea of their habits, speak to them and suggest tackling the problem together. Ensure they feel heard and give them the opportunity to understand for themselves what impact this is having. Creating a pros and cons list together can be a great way to provide a sense of control, ensuring they know their feelings are valid and that they are being listened to. You can then think of ways that they can navigate this together, making small changes that will give them more balance but being clear that you’re not asking them to stop using it altogether.
Finally, model good behaviour yourself. Adults are just as prone to overuse as children, so you must be willing to make changes yourself in order to set an example.
