Around 2.4 million children in this country grow up without a father figure* and the impact on their lives can be profound. Sid Madge, founder of Meee, explains why dads are so important in family life and how they can be great role models for their kids.
Published
Children without active and positive paternal involvement are more likely to face mental health issues and struggle academically. For boys in particular, the absence of a father figure often leaves a void in understanding how to navigate manhood.
Fathers themselves aren’t immune to the consequences of this deficit. Many men who didn’t grow up with role models find themselves lacking the confidence or knowledge to step into that role for their own children. This cycle of absent fatherhood can perpetuate generational struggles, particularly in communities facing economic hardship.
If you’ve never had a role model, stepping into the role of one may feel overwhelming. But with determination, support and the right tools, it’s entirely possible to break the cycle and create a positive legacy for your children.
Children benefit most from a father who is consistently present, both physically and emotionally... it’s the small, consistent actions that have the longest-lasting impact.
Focus on presence, not perfection
Being a role model doesn’t mean being perfect. Children benefit most
from a father who is consistently present, both physically and
emotionally. We often think it’s the big things, holidays, expensive
gifts, grand gestures, that children remember. But more often, it’s the
small, consistent actions that have the longest-lasting impact. Showing
up to school plays, helping with homework, or simply keeping your word
creates memories that children cherish for a lifetime.
Tip:Set aside regular one-on-one time with your child, whether it’s
reading together, playing a game or simply talking about their day.
Being reliable and consistent builds trust and a sense of security.
Acknowledge your past and commit to growth
If you’ve faced challenges, such as a lack of positive examples
growing up, acknowledge those experiences but don’t let them define your
future. Use them as motivation to break the cycle for your children.
Tip:Share age-appropriate stories about your past struggles and what
you’ve learned. This honesty can inspire resilience and teach your
children about the value of growth.
Reach out
Fatherhood isn’t a solo journey. Surround yourself with supportive
people who can provide guidance and encouragement. If you feel
unprepared for fatherhood, seek resources and education. Parenting
classes, books and online courses can help fill gaps in your knowledge
about child development, communication and discipline.
Join local fatherhood support groups or community initiatives that
focus on strengthening family relationships. These groups can offer
practical advice and a sense of camaraderie.
Tip: You can learn a lot about how to be a great dad from other
fathers. Mums tend to share their experiences of parenthood openly with
close friends, so why not dads?
Be a positive example
Children watch what you do more than they listen to what you say.
Demonstrate qualities like respect, responsibility and kindness in your
daily actions.
Tip:Model healthy behaviours, such as managing stress constructively,
maintaining a strong work ethic and treating others with respect.
Access tools and support
For many fathers, particularly those from disadvantaged backgrounds,
the lack of access to tools and resources can be a significant barrier
to being a positive role model. Addressing these gaps is essential.
Education and skills training can really help to support fathers looking
to improve their circumstances and set an example for their children.
Tip:Parenting classes are normally associated with mums, but they can have a transformative effect on dads too.
Children watch what you do more than they listen to what you say. Demonstrate qualities like respect, responsibility and kindness in your daily actions.
Look after your mental health
Men are often reluctant to seek help for mental health challenges,
but addressing these issues is key to being a supportive father.
Anxiety, depression and unresolved trauma can hinder a father’s ability
to connect with his children.
Tip: Utilise mental health resources, such as counselling or support
groups, to address emotional challenges. Many organisations offer free
or low-cost services tailored to fathers.
The ripple effect
When fathers step into their role as positive role models, the
effects ripple out far beyond their immediate family. Studies show in
families with supportive dads:
*43 per cent of children are more likely to earn better grades in school.
*50 per cent are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol.
*75 per cent are less likely to have a child in their teenage years.
Redefining fatherhood
Becoming a role model when you’ve never had one is challenging, but
it’s also one of the most impactful things a father can do. By
committing to presence, growth and learning, fathers can break
generational cycles and inspire their children to reach their full
potential.
For fathers who feel they’ve made mistakes, it’s important to
remember that change is always possible. With the right tools, support
and determination, fathers can not only transform their own lives but
also create a brighter future for their children.
Fatherhood is a journey, not a destination. And even if you’ve never had a map, it’s never too late to find a new course.
*Centre for Social Justice figures
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sid Madge is the founder of Meee which is committed to helping people
be their best self and live their best life through talks, workshops,
tools and resources. He is also the creator of the Counting on
Confidence programme, designed to inspire the belief that education and
learning are essential for a more fulfilling and positive life. Sid is
the author of the Meee in a Minute series of books, offering 60 simple,
actionable ways to transform your life, work, or family life in just 60
seconds.
